Monday, June 2, 2014
I know i just posted an update a few days ago however, i have had a lot on my mind since the last post. Being a caregiver is hard work and working on top of being a caregiver is even harder. I was blessed with a job that has a perfect schedule for me and one that allows me to still feel fullfilled. Ron has a condition called communicataion apathy or something like that. Basically he no longer follows the script of normal conversations. His responses are typically just a few words long and he rarely has the ability to strike up a conversation. He has been this way for several years and now I find it difficult having conversations with others. I am working on it but it is a diffuclt habit to break. The funny thing is, Ron and I have wonderful conversations in text with Ron. It is so amazing to me how easily we can communicate with each other thru our text messaging. I feel like I have found a tiny piece of the man I married. I am even getting over expecting the same easy conversation when we are together. My new job affords me the oppurtunity to meet and share with many new people. I was terrified at first but as i enter the 3 month mark from when I started, I am getting better at conversating. I have also realized how much our lives are defined by his illness. I cannot tell you how many times I have said "before he got sick" or "after he got sick". I still miss our old life very much but I have accepted our new life for the most part. Acceptance is one of the final stages of grief so I guess I am making progress. That is all I have to write for now. Thank you for reading. Never take anything in your life for granted. Change is not preventable and forward progress should always be counted as a success. I am borrowing my mom's computer and it won't let me edit so I apologize for all the errors.