Monday, June 29, 2009

Am I a horrible person?

That i want a normal day. I want a day without worrying about paying the bills or getting medications. A day with no side effects from multiple strokes or from medication. Am I a horrible person because there are days I would do almost ANYTHING to have our life back? To have the man I married, my best friend back? Most people do not understand what it is like to be us. Ron looks healthy so people just assume he is fine..all better, right? Well, those people don't see him stumble walking to the kitchen or be unable to pick up something due to his lack of coordination in his hands. They don't watch the little changes each day in a man they knew better than themselves. They haven't seen him deteriorate as his brain is being killed little by little by these strokes. The official count as it stands now is 23. They will never have an accurate count due to the small size of several of them. We will most likely never know what caused this. He will never be cured because their is none. This disease will kill him, its just a matter of time and the quality of life he will have. How shitty is that? We will be 30 this year...thats all..30...and Ron may never get to be a fireman again. I will continue to be more his nurse and less his wife. So am i a horrible person because i don't want this life? I don't think I am. I look back at the beginning of this roller coaster to hell, and I think damn..I am pretty bad ass. I have gone above and beyond my duties as a wife, but not because i have to...because I vowed thru sickness and health and I meant it. I can definitely sympathize with spouses who have left because of this disease. There is so much that the doctor's just don't understand. how can you expect a layperson? One of the hardest things for me are the mood swings. Ron has no filter to his attitude, so in around these parts isn't always pleasant. The toughest part is, he doesn't even realize he is doing it. We have both lived in this bubble of denial. I have come to grips with this more than he has. We have decent days and really bad ones, not really much in between. I don't take care of myself like I should. I can admit that, but i just don't always have the time to care about myself.

I am very thankful for my friends. The people who actually try to understand what it is like to live this life. The true friends who try to make me laugh and who love me for who I am. And the friends who treat Ron like a person...a real one..not a disease or a freak. The friends who get the weird little quirks of mine..and love me more because of them. I have always been a pretty solitary person, too afraid of getting hurt to let people in. However, recently i have realized that i need people who love me in my life to help me on the days i am not quite strong enough or can't quite manage.

I am reading the blog Ii wrote when Ron got sick. It brings back so much. i can still feel every emotion and fear i was feeling when i wrote those words. I have learned to use blogging or whatever has a type of therapy. A way to express things that i am not always comfortable expressing. So thank you to any one who takes the time to read my ramblings.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Update on Fundraiser

The date has been confirmed for June 27th. A bank account has been set up at American National Bank of Texas under Carmen Dixon for Ron Hopson. A paypal account has also been added Email either me or Holly if you have items to donate. Please forward this information on to anyone you think might be interested in helping in anyway. We are working on a place to store everything.

Thank y'all so much for the continued love and support!!!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Info on the fundraiser for Ron

My Hometown Hero
by: Holly S. Corbin

Growing up in a small town, the same town my parents graduated High School from, gives me a particular advantage over others. You see, I created friendships with people that I still hold to this day. I also have the unique ability to call upon my hometown when my friends are in trouble. My story is about the horrible disease that is slowly consuming the husband of a dear friend.

In July of 2007, Ron Hopson began a horrific journey, a journey that most of us pray we will never fall victim to. After suffering flu-like symptoms, Ron complained of a persistent headache that continued to intensify until he could no longer withstand the pain. Several tests later, he was diagnosed with Meningitis and was put on medication. The problem should have stopped there, but unfortunately for Ron and Amanda Hopson, this was only the beginning of a difficult new life.

Ron has an incurable disease called Central Nervous System Vasculitis (CNSV), which means inflammation of the central nervous system, affecting the blood vessels in the brain or spinal cord. What was at first thought to be Meningitis was in fact something much more detrimental. For details, please visit the website at This debilitating disease has caused Ron to suffer numerous strokes, thus affecting his ability to function as he previously did. Throughout the entire ordeal, his wife, Amanda has been so strong and has created a blog ( to share with friends and family. This blog also serves as a sort of therapeutic outlet for her.

Ron served as a fireman at the Cash Fire Department for 5 years. From there, Ron began to volunteer his services in Crash Rescue at L3 Communications. He continued to volunteer for six years before becoming a Fireman with them in 2003. Amanda worked in dispatch for several years, until they both could no longer work due to the disease. Ron needs round the clock assistance and monitoring, so Amanda has given up her job in order to take care of her husband. As I’m sure you can guess, this has created a major strain on their finances, sometimes making it necessary to choose between getting Ron’s medicine or buying groceries. Through all of this, Mandy has been a rock, when she feels like crumbling. In her blog she wrote something that touched me deeply; “Ron is my world and my best friend. My brain never allowed the thoughts of him not coming home to process, which I suppose is a good thing. It is so difficult to see my big strong man so sick and in so much pain.”

I sit here crying, while trying to type this letter, because I love my dear friend “Mandy,” and want to help her in any way I can. Since I know that I can’t take it all away, some friends and I are putting together a fundraiser/donation to help pay for their upcoming trip to Cleveland Ohio to see a specialist. The Cleveland Clinic will, with all hopes, give the Hopson’s a chance to face this disease from a new perspective and give Ron a better chance to manage this disease.

The appointment is on July 16th, and we are asking that anyone who is interested in making a donation please do so at any American National Bank under the Ron Hopson CNSV fund. We will keep updates coming on a fundraiser event, so please feel free to contact me via email at or visit my Facebook account under Holly Morgan Corbin. I will keep any updates posted for you. All donations will go towards the costs of traveling to Ohio and back, medical bills, and the overwhelming costs of prescription therapy.

**So far, we have set a date of Saturday, June 27th at the Cash Fire Department for a community yard sale. There will be several items (donations are welcome) to buy, our “boys” with donation boots, and some good food. We hope to start the festivities around 10 a.m., so check with me ( to get more details.***

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

June 2,2009

Ron had a routine appointment with his Rheumotologist today. She is sending us to the Cleveland Clinic on July 16th to meet with the specialists on this disease. Ron is doing better however he is not rebounding from the most recent strokes as quickly as before. He still requires quite a bit of assistance and monitoring. It is very difficult to watch him struggle so much. Not really much else to report at this moment. I am pretty overwhelmed. My friends are putting together some fundraising activities so I will pass the details on to everyone when I get them. Thank y'all again for all of the support!